Up or down?

Been off the booze for a few days and taken some Valium a couple of times which swings between making me feel amazing and able to sleep - to sick, like right now! I took it because I'm tired of feeling anxious, tired of that sick and nervous feeling in my belly.

It makes me also feel quite withdrawn and I really want to go and buy
 a bottle of whiskey but I'm not going to, I've promised myself that and I'm going to stick to that! Let's see how long this lasts!

As of late

Despite a few glitches with hitting the whiskey, am doing pretty well. I've suddenly made quite a few friends recently and my social life is looking up. I've got two good friends I can talk to about this stuff (in lengthy detail!) and some other friends I can hang out with and be 'normal' with!
Doctor is going well and I'm habitually consuming my meds. This weekend is a holiday (which I really need as I've been very busy lately!) and I have many things to look forward to so bring life on!

Minor glitch!

Today I had  a minor attack but dealt with it by basically ignoring it and letting it happen! I have no idea what caused it but didn't allow myself to get angry and now although I'm tired (panic attack hangover!), I feel fine and proud that I didn't let my affliction take over my life!

Sailing on calm waters

Well my meds have definitely kicked in and I have to admit that they do reduce anxiety. Having said that I had a minor attack last night but I didn't let it freak me out and it went quite quickly. I've also noticed that I'm more secure now and stopped spending long nights chatting to people about how down I am. It feels like a setback that I can't drink again and have to infect my body with chemicals but I guess it's for the best and I have to think of it as an illness and the meds as a part of the cure!