Wokeup today, feeling fine (to quote a famous song!). Feel like I'm getting a bit of a grip on my anxiety now (even if it's a slippery one!). Decided to think of some positives to remind myself that life is definitely worth living. First, I pretty much don't have panic attacks anymore and second I don't suffer from any agoraphobia now. Third, I have given up alcohol which means by body is more healthy, along with my wallet and my memory is much better than before. Also, I don't have to suffer hangovers anymore and waste my weekends in bed. Forth, I have dealt with some painful memories from childhood which I have been carrying for a long time so this makes me feel 'lighter' because I think these weigh you down Psychologically. Finally, I'm learning a great deal about the human body and mind and also about Psychological processes. I also feel that I'm beginning to understand myself better and intellectually I'm fascinated by the workings of the conscious and unconscious. Now, don't get me wrong I'm claiming that this is an experience anyone should go through but the fact that I am doesn't mean it has to be completely negative. Admittedly the Panic attacks are one of the most frightening experiences a person can have (see other people's accounts on You tube or other internet sites if you don't believe me!) but at least if I can find a balance of positivity and negativity in all this, then all the better!
Last night by the way, I did some research on Charles Linden, who is in no way medically trained but claims - in fact guarantees he can cure Panic attacks and the other disorders related to it. Personally I'm a little sceptical about anyone who pursues a business idea in helping or curing people but I did learn a couple of helpful things! According to him, Panic attacks are caused by amygdalae in the limbic system. These are almond-shaped glands that reside in our brains and control our primitive functions such as emotional reactions, facial recognition and may be related to some Psychological disorders. According to Linden, these glands are completely automated but this automation is learnt by experience. Now, in a healthy or normal human being (whatever that is!) these glands only increase adrenaline levels thus creating a 'fight or flight' scenario when the person is genuinely under threat. Once the threat has gone the glands reduce the levels of adrenaline back to normal and all of the symptons calm down. In the case of people like me, the glands- because they are activated by experience- create more adrenaline than usual (because a perceived threat is enough) and so we are more or less constantly in a 'fight or flight' state. A fascinating point about this is that altough the conscious brain knows there is no threat and therefore no need to be ready for a rumble, the unconscious believes there is a threat and so the glands are activated and the adrenaline floods through the body. Linden therefore claims the solution to this problem is to simply change our behaviour through our conscious thinking because he believes that Panic attacks re-occur because of repeated patterns of learnt behaviour that reside in the subconscious. Once therefore a Panic attack is experienced we unconsciously repeat the patterns and the glands shoot out a barraged of adrenaline which if you're not under threat, has nowhere to go. This is why we feel nausea, shaky, sweaty, de-personalised, dizzy etc....
Based on this, I've decided to try adjusting my conscious thought processes and monitor what I am doing so that the unconscious is no longer running the show as much. I'll report my findings in due course! Also I thought I speak to my doctor tomorrow about some of these ideas...
