Night of the living dead

So it's time for another attack. Sweaty hands, heart beat 170BPM (for drum 'n' bass fans!) and downing some chamomile tea. Just when I thought I was out of the woods, the paths twist back round into the darkness and fear of the forest. I'm so sick of this, I really am. I want my freedom, I want my body and soul to be my mine and under my control. My hands are glowing inside and although I'm quite an expert at all of this now, I still feel like I have no options but to ride this out yet again.

Hopefully I can sleep off this one. I'm trying to find the 'trigger' for this but can't. Perhaps it's because last night I actually had fun, a few drinks and felt like a human being again. I should be so lucky... lucky, lucky, lucky! (thanks Kyile!)