Blood, sugar, magic!

Have been away from home for almost 4 weeks now and this obviously includes the doctor. Have managed to reduce my sertraline dose to half of what is was before and up until yesterday have been fine. At the moment I'm in another country, not at home visiting good friends of mine and having fun, travelling lots and even drinking again without any adverse problems. Last night though I realised that I had been carrying around some increasing anxiety and today I'm feeling worse. This makes me feel quite angry because up until recently I have been so proud of myself and remember saying that I had thought I was "cured".

At the moment I'm desperately trying to understand the cause of my attack. It could be that my anxiety is caused by the stress of returning to reality and to work. It could be that my life is not what it should be and that a return to this is hitting me square in the face but whatever it is one thing has occurred to me that might help fellow sufferers; Blood-sugar levels. One pattern that I can find in the last two days is that I haven't been eating breakfast before leaving the house. I have just done some research on the net and it seems that other people have mentioned that not eating is related to anxiety. So from now I'm going to be very careful about this.

Anyway, I have just eaten and feel better but although this is the case I'm still suffering. Right now I can't concentrate at all, writing this feels akin to climbing a mountain on stilts. My hands feel like they are not mine and my feet feel hot and strange. Also I feel incredibly drained and otherwordly. I wish I had some valium but I don't so I'm gonna have to ride this out. Although I'm OK with doing this I must admit I've been on nicer journeys and if I could I'd love to get out of the car and feel inner peace again...